Love is like a wrong turn.. on a cold night..

In the days, in the flows of emotion.. you see God in the devil's eyes..
and you fall so far from grace... you wouldnt know a kiss if it were on your face....
you go tell it to the jury, but you AINT GOT NO CASE !! - Aerosmith

I love Aerosmith! :)

Again, at cross roads

It is said that one see all kinds of times of fortunes and misfortunes at least once in a lifetime, ... like chicken pox. :P.
Our parents saw the china war, scarcity of food, mass unemployment, 2 wars with pakistan. That armed them with the kind of wisdom that gets you through the hardest of times. This all happened around them, but somehow, due to hard work and their own rules of survival, they came across to the new, comfortable world, unscathed but not unaffected. Many, many years went by, and the new generation was ready to go face the world. It was time for the elders to pass on their legacy - wisdom of survival to us. How to work hard, study like mental, rote-it-if-you-dont-get-it, get top grades so you can make a decent living. How to go fast, stress and stretch an inch more, Only dependable fields like science and medical to pursue. Go safe. They expect us to stick to their rules, because it got them cleared, through the mess they were in, so they would want the same for us too. But will we? Should we go fast or slow down a bit, should we think of capital, or global warming, should be binge or save? 1 kid or 2 kids? ... or maybe 3? Sports as career?

Our kind of mess is whole lot different from theirs and we have no idea how to tackle this. We are confronted with problem more complex than just decent living. The whole idea is to do more, be different. Now the goal is to be a better human being, make the world a better place, while not compromising on your high flying lifestyle. To maintain your body, gym, to learn the 'art of living', to do good for the society, to appreciate nature, to do simple things for a better cause, to know the deeper meaning of the things around us, to travel and know unknown people and places, to go beyond the I, me, myself. Now, THAT is decent living,

To rote what you don't understand doesn't get you anywhere these days. You actually have to think. And Think Hard. Intellect, no matter how ahead of your time, or how controversial is appreciated and rewarded, if not in your country, then in some others. The Global community roots for innovation and more effective, new paradigms. Due to advanced information technology, you are bound to strike your idea with someone or the other, who thinks like you.

This gives us a whole lot of new opportunities. Its like opening a google search page in your life, ...and you are free to explore whatever you want.

So even though we still have loads of problems - new diseases becoming epidemics, global warming, more frequent tornadoes and cyclones, terrorism, water scarcity, economic downturn- we are, like our elders learning the new tools of survival, and we always have theirs for the worst.

But the world is still a better place, thanks to them ..

to be cntd..

Nagala Hills: 3 Oct 2009

My friends and I had the good fortune of going for our first trek together yesterday, to Nagala Hills.
Nagala Hills are located in Andhra Pradesh, and about 120 Kms from Chennai.
We were supposed to board our bus near the Guindy Flyover at 5:30 in the morning. Setting our feet out in the early morning, when the sky was still dark and air, crisp, we had no idea of what a bounty of adventure the day would bring.
We boarded the bus and joined even more people, almost giddy with anticipation.
The journey started.
We're a bunch of very lazy people, not used to being up so early, so only after some 30 minutes of friendly banter, we found ourselves lolling on the window glass, deep in sleep, and the mechanic drone of the bus on.
The bus stopped for allowing the trekkers some breakfast-fuel, and then again, the torpid journey resumed.
Suddenly, After I dont know how much time, the bus stopped and we were informed of our having reached our destination. "Wowie!!" I thought, and also tried to prepare for what lay ahead.
The trek starts with crossing of a dam. We needed to climb up and then down the dam. having made of loose red sand and stones, it was like climb up and down the steel slide of the ones we have in childrens' parks. Arul, our leader, expertly exhibited how to do it, and as he said, it was pretty easy to do but just scary to look at. Well, some unfortunate poor blokes came wearing floaters, and sandals. They had quite a scare climbing up and sliding down the 50-60 feet high dam of rubble.
After that we continued to climb steep up. Having been brought up in the mountains, I found all nostalgic, childhood memories, rushing back to me. The climb started with all groups joking around, and friends playfully teasing each other, but soon, most were found conserving their energy, for the tougher times ahead :) ... Trekking up the mountain, all we could hear was the silent hum of the wind, russel of leaves on the trees, an occasional crack of a twig, and sound of water cackling somewhere down. Oh! This is what heaven must feel like! Of course... remixed by the constant huffing and puffing of all of us :)
Within 2 hours of continuous climb, we reached the summit of the hill. Oh the view! Magnificent view, took of what was left of our breaths ... away!!
There we rested for about 15-20 minutes. Having gathered some energy back, suddenly all of the people clicking photographs in all possible combinations from all possible angles, made it quite a sight! :D . As if collecting proof!

Anyways, till then Arul had found the way to a stream. Hearing the name of a water body, all the fish in our group began jumping with d-lite :P And the prospect of climbing down a steep slope with only help of a rope didn't deter them at all.
Using the rope, we all went down the sharp side of the mountain, to discover a dream. If nature had to make a jacuzzi, it made sure only the worthy used it ;-)
With a lively brook collecting in a depression on the big rocks and moving ahead, this was an awesome sight, at the first of with, we all squealed like children and jumped into the waters.
After about 1 and a half hour of water games and royal jacuzzi treatment, we were somehow hoarded out of the water.
It was already 5 and we had to get out of the jungle before it got dark.
But the water had done its wonders, and everyone, with replenished energy, we started our way back.
This time, since we were already at the base of the mountain, we didn't have to climb up much, and in no time walking, talking humming and singing, under the marvelous pink sky, we reached the great dam of mud.
Some people just chose to slide their descent.. :) It was funny !

On returning, under the full moon of Ashwini Poornima, we congratulated ourselves on such a successful day and for having returned with having gained so many more new friends..

Fly away from here!!

Gotta find a way....Yeah, I cant wait another day.. Aint nothin gonna change.. If we stay round here... Gotta do what it takes... Cuz its all in our hands ...We all make mistakes ...Yeah, but its never too late, To start again, take another breath......And say another prayer. And flyyyyy away from here - A/smith

Oh ! How much I love this song. Once, when I was flying from Pune to Delhi, just as the plane took off, Aerosmith blared 'flyyyy away from here' in my ear. Touche!

I love to travel. As a kid I wanted to become a traveller. I still want to, given a chance. I love to watch people. I like to explore through people and their stories. Its like when the God said, you have a Universe and all its answers inside you.

I've made my way throught the mist. I can see it clearing already :) . I'm finally being able to see through object by object, what I want.

It's an amazingly curious feeling ...

Aur Sunao!

"The difference between news and gossip- News tells you what people did, gossip tells you how much they enjoyed it" - Shantaram

Gossip has been a part of Indian culture and routine.. since like.. forever. We even have stories of our Gods gossiping, and we are petty humans so we'll naturally do. But does that mean that we have STAY that way ?

In separate studies they've concluded that Indians are one of the most satisfied and least tensed cultures around the world. Outlook's magazine in its July edition, tells us that gossip is actually healthy!..
But its not gossip that bothers me. Its these two words. " Aur Batao"...

Its like scrapping the bottom of the gossip barrel.
"Dude! Show over! Go home! "
In this age, where you barely get the time for basics like sleep, food, family, how do people - 'Aur batao?'

Idle talk was good.. long .. long time back.
Everyone is SUPER-competitive these days. Especially at work. You'd rather take your reputation, put it in a soiled sock, dip it in grease, and throwing it at a pristine whitewashed wall, than utter these two words. The seriousness of these words hitting you back will be equivalent to the casual quotient of the phrase. Why! Even a lunch invitation from a friend has an agenda these days, except yeah, for obvious reasons like a birthday or something equally apparant.

I personally take these two words very badly, specially coming from people who I'm not very familiar with. I find it crude and rustic. It projects that this person feels as if I have nothing better to do than to entertain. Because you certainly have nothing to tell me, and I obviously have run out of things to talk about. End of conversation. Literally. But NO. Instead of putting a perfectly respectful conversation to a dignified end, you have to drag it around the courtyard.
Most people, unfortunately still use it as a conversation starter or conversation conjugative and become the unsuspecting victims of my wrath.

I dont know. I think even this attitude of mine is a little to the extreme side. People these days are so impersonal and cold, everywhere and everytime, that this can also be one pathetic little attempt of an entire generation to squeeze out, last of the indescribable warmth from each other. One little shrug/jerk towards back to being humans from the rational robots that we have started to become.

Sometimes I wish, everything'd go back to where it was, how it was. People wouldnt have such complicated issues because they'd still be worried about food and shelter.

Can't really decide which one is better.. after all, life isnt black and white.. its just shades of grey..

Fuzzy Logic

Close your eyes and think of one thing you want the most.If you weren't able to see anything in a span of 10 seconds, "Welcome to the club". If you were able to see sometihng, please leave me a comment. You might be a major help !
When I close my eyes, I see only fuzz.

I cannot concentrate on any one thing at a time.When I think of what I want, instead of a single thing, I see white cloud, and some random stuff that I want floating around.How much does it take for order to kick in chaos? I think, how much of a mess, can I take before I start to clean up?Is it only me?

Am I alone in this? I hope it is only me.

The idea of an entire generation wandering in dark infinite space of time is more horrifying than I can imagine.I was thinking on a high level, of the attitude change, over past few generations. Girls think unlike gender opposite, more in control and always the closest to the "Book Of Standard Behaviour". That has been coming over generations. But in the past few years, this attitude has totally changed. Girls and women enjoy more power and comfort. They also enjoy more "loss of control" and adrenaline rush.So, yeah, if during the past few years the boys have become more understanding and closer to the codes of behaviour, the girls have just started their roller-coaster ride.Maybe this is where chaos enters our life. With no controller negetive feedback, our circuit will go crazy, with amplified current each time it completes the loop.

Then the always-a-million-dollar-question arises who or what will put an end to this madness!Do we need an accident or a personal tragedy to help us come out of coma and see sense?Even if we do, how is it that we fail to act? Even if we take the immense initiative and start it, does that idea even see it's prime? Or does it always remain a whimper, a sad little sound in the mad world of disorder?

I might be wrong, and things might not be really so bad, our own little lives.

I Miss You

What is space? Is it created by presence of absence, or absence of something?

If we are so fond of space, why do we clutter the space around us, only to miss the empty space later.
Inspite of my simultaneous opposite cravings , why are my phone bills on a constant rise these days? Why do I allow some people to come so close to me, that I start missing them even when they leave a gap for air to breathe? The void, which eventually gets filled, hurts almost physically, in the present. It robs the brain of its power to think constructively and rationally. And it deflates the spirit. The void becomes so huge that it sucks everything from your life, and still be a void. I like to take chances. I would like to take chances on the sadness in future, if it is worth the happiness right now.

"meinu jadvi tussi ho yaad aaye, din dihade mein sharab le baitha"..

Mixed Signals

Where are the simple days when one person had one phone and one sim-card?
One sim-card on which he could always be reached(or at least whenever reachable).In this pro-capitalistic, pro-consumerist era, gloating about the plethora of choices, have we, the focus of all processes,the so-called middle class common population lost the idea of what we actually want?It seems like we are so taken in by the shiny nice attractive offers, that we lose the vision of what we came out looking for.
On second thoughts, is that even a real reason, or just a second grade excuse? An excuse for our greed. Greed of more. More of everything.
They say life gives you what you want. I've asked a lot of people I know about what they want, that if only they wanted one and only one thing, what would that be. I've not got even a single straight forward answer. My search is still on.
They say that if you really want something, the whole universe conspires for you to get it. But most of the times, our mixed signals to life get all cross wired and result in a wholly new requirement.But I know that even if we see so many cases otherwise in our life, there are some awesome people I know who have completely sorted lives.
For people who ask, " When does it get better?", the answer is "Never".
So the possible solution is to sync your random requirements in the same bandwidth, and send your amplified signals to the cosmic space, hoping the saying about life comes true.
I'm told they've already released the phones with dual sim-cards.

My new life

These days Uncle Murphy and Aunt un-luck have developed special affection for me. I hate them. Both of them.

After messing up CAT and all of the other exams by some one or two questions each, and my one year's hard work down the drain, just when I thought it could not get any worse, I got released from my project. Again, my die hard optimist right side of the brain, told my more logical left side of the brain of the small silver lining. You know, the exposure to new projects, people and technology, and if Im lucky, new country! And then lo! I got an interview call, on the day of my release! The sun was shining and the day looked all bright and lovely ! My plan of a fresh start was already on its way! My new desk , and my new colleages, new place, fresh start. Yay!!
And then boom.. boom.. BOOM... Bhadaak.. fzzz....

My interview lasted for complete 90 minutes, and I dont really remember much of that. I was busy dodging the mean question bombs and land-mines. I could not BELIEVE my luck. Why o why!

By the time I was done with my fiasco of an interview, the sun wasn't shining any more, and all I could hear was the buzz of the air conditioner, and distant sound of horns of passing vehicles.

I was left wondering, sometimes one gets so much for little petty change.