Hi, I'm a parent.

BEING A PARENT is just like going ice swimming for the first time.
You've seen people do it. You know you want it. You're ready for this. You've seen many people survive it. And then you jump in the water. Shock response occurs causing an uncontrollable gasp for air. Followed by hyperventilation and more rapid breathing. This may lead to ingestion of water causing possible drowning. Yup. Then you have to re-incarnate and become someone else you don't even recognise - A better person. True Story.

From my experience such are the qualities that take you away from the person you were. Embracing them is the only path to salvation.

Dab a little HUMILITY - Parents are humble people. They cannot be snobs or afford to be haughty or judgemental. The little tyrants bring it right onto them. A major lesson on humility. It can happen any time :). Uncle Murphy loves that. Anyone who has had an episode of a crying opera in the train or in the shopping mall will back me up on this. We don't judge. We don't tell tall tales of how 'mine has never done that'. That's because we don't know when they will arrange a mutiny against us. Usually that's done in public place, specially where people prefer silence. Like an embassy or an airport or any other place where we will feel the red dots of a million laser stares all over us.

Key to PATIENCE - Parents are patient people. We hold our horses and listen up. We wait and we wait for nature to take its due course. How can we be rushing? We wait 40 weeks to see the tiny little angel that will be the centre of our universe forever. We wait and cross our fingers and pray for our baby to latch on. If it doesn't happen, we cannot do much except the same thing. wait and try and wait and try. We, then patiently introduce the bottle, which is more than often vehemently rejected. Then we wait and try and wait and try. Then we introduce solids. You know why bibs were made. By the time, the baby is a year old, patience is in our DNA. If our child wants to take a gazillion hours to know what is 2+2, we give a gazillion hours to let him wrap his head around the fact. That's who we are now.

UPPING The Sense of Humor - I wouldn't necessarily be a happy person if I had a poop smeared face. But sometimes, even that can be a funny, stress relieving moment in the lives of new parents. We cannot be sullen and dull with children. They may not know where their toes are, but they certainly know when we are sad and anxious. Which is why it is of utmost importance for a healthy mother-child relationship for the mother to be relaxed and happy. They even prescribe meds for that if everything gets too overwhelming! We realise in the course of being a parent, that whatever is happening, it could be a lot worse in a lot less time because they are so so tiny, helpless and totally dependent on us. That's why- we the parents live in the moment, enjoy what we can, and see cuteness where the untrained eye may not!

BUCKLE UP and smell the ROSES - Ha! We don't even think of it that way! You gotta do what you gotta do. We wake up a million times in the night. We feed in public (I NEVER thought I'll be able to pull this one off). We sing in a horrifically high voice. We look silly and do silly imitations. We get smeared in poop. We lose our jobs. We lose our friends. We lose our ability to get a joke. We lose all our priorities. We never even think of it that way. Life is fun. We start appreciating the small little things much more. It's like God gave us a magnifying glass in our mental eye. We get awfully excited at the prospect of stepping out for grocery shopping. We look shamelessly proud when our son/daughter speaks her first word - "da-da". We become a show-off. We become "one-of-those" who cant shut up about their baby. We feel incredibly beautiful just by dabbing some lip gloss. We feel like on top of the world after 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

The trick is acceptance. Once you accept that you've had a baby and your life is going to swish in the direction of the wind of your child's mood swings. Once you accept that , everything follows easy. The moment of acceptance - that's the moment of magic. Its like the final moment before the rabbit comes out of the hat. You accomplish that- You're out of the water. You survived, everyone claps. You see some poor newbies going for a swim in the ice, you paste a grin and give them a BIG Thumbs Up sign!

One... Two..... Q4.

2013 has been more than happening. So much that almost everyday Ive had more than what I can chew to go through.

But the Blog looks like it needs to be brought to speed.

Let me see if I can do justice to what has been a truly exciting year by writing down the most memorable of moments in these last few months that it still has in its pocket.

Google it !!

If only there was a Google search for every question in my head.

Like- Who stole my phone and how can I kick his/her ass black n blue? Where did I keep my keys!.. or When will I become rich!? Which is the perfect car for me? How should I plan my savings? What is the perfect haircut for me that'll make me look like a movie star all the time ? :) .. and so on..Except that in the google of my imagination I'll always be lucky and will get only ONE extraordinarily precise and correct answer that will answer other most obvious branching quesitons too!

It feels so awesome to be answered, doesnt it?When we ask, we have a question, we are in need.. but when just the correct answer, correct justification comes, its such a satisfying feeling !

When our call is answered, our prayers are answered, and curiousity is quenched, it does indeed feel good - most of the time, anyway :)

Its an mmmm feeling... The way we go mmmmmmm... while savoring exactly what was needed.

I like that feeling ! :)

But since, I have sooooooo many questions at any moment of time in my head and the search engine of my wonderland is currently still in my imagination, doesnt it help to just concentrate on the important most pressing questions first?

I guess seeking the answer or deciding the shelf life of a question before it expires, is all the game we call 'life'. Without all this to think about and to work for, what will be the inspiration to make people get going?

Hmm. The brain bulb just went "ting !!" next to my head :)

Well, in the present, as I of now, I think its best to celebrate having all these uncertainities around, and the next day on - Lets get Cracking !!

Thats what the New Years are for !! :)

Afternoon delight !

I had too much of extra time and energy to sit at home and get bored one weekend, so I decided to make use of the fact that I live in one of the most vibrant cities of the world !

I called up my friend who lives right across the street and we decided to go exploring.

We headed down south to the town, a short train ride away from the suburbs where we live, to get the taste of the 'town'. The first expedition- we decided has to be about shopping and fashion! To indulge in a little gal pleasure of discovering fun accessories, hand crafted interior designs and who knows what all stuff  the streets have to offer ! Yes - my ladies and gentlemen, we were street shopping . How exciting !!

Hence we made the Colaba Causeway our foremost and primary destination.

We exited out of the VT station and took a cab to Colaba Causeway. If it'd not been SO hot we'd have loved walking to it. So, in case whenever you go, walk in the area in daylight... splendid it is. Surrounded by ancient , uniform 3 story-ed  buildings, which have seen so much of time and people, wide roads in neat right angles, and patches of clean blue sky above, its a treat to the eyes of anyone who's actually seeing all of this.Some places have just so much history in them. 

I can understand why many people miss out on the history and the sky and all other things .. that's because they are blinded by all the cool stuff that street vendors were selling! When we saw that, our faces were that like the pirates as if we'd discovered the Gold of Aztec! ...or like we'd time traveled into the Arabian Nights! Such amazing creative earrings, bangles, kurtas, bags, durries. So many colours and so many different designs. It was liberating to see all of that. We were simply not prepared for that. 

Street shopping is supposed to be fun.. but not this cool!

My guidelines for people venturing on Colaba causeway/Bandra Hill road are: 

1. Keep a budget in mind. You're never going to keep it, but its good to have some lines drawn when entering so much temptation.

2. Keep at least a vague view of what you want to buy. It shouldn't be that you went to buy a clutch and came back with bag full of mugs, bedsheets, kurtas, big tote having totally forgotten about the innocent red clutch. These are tricky places for the mind.

3. ALWAYS and always bargain. Firmly but discreetly. If a shopkeeper senses that your bargain may be affecting other customers too, there goes your price! 

What I bought - 

A table runner, a small lipstick holder that'll actually hold my earphones, a beautiful turquoise kurta, a yellow oxidized metal belt for my dresses or even saris and a bright pink T-shirt with an agenda to make crows more popular (as if!). 

Having satiated our hunger of culture and accessories, we stepped into the legendary "Leopold Cafe" to have their legendary cheesecake and sandwiches. Absolutely...yummy. That place deserves a standing ovation. Truly does. Any maybe that's why its so popular, specially after having gone through so much!

We can still see some of the bullet marks on the walls from the terrorist attacks in 2008.

After feeling pleasantly full, half sleepy, done with our day of a little newness, tired as little kids back from the fete, we took a train back home to home and our regular lives. 

Next expedition will be to create a picture scrapbook with history from all over the city!

We also found a delightful french place, will post details of that in the next post.

Until then -

Life is either a great adventure or nothing -Hellen Keller

A hole in my heart

Theres a dog shaped vacuum in my heart which refuses to fill..

When I got Pasha, it was the biggest change in my life until then. It was so huge, the change, that I wanted to write about the experience which I can boast of and share with the world! Not a single word came on paper. That little bastard used to take all of my time and mindspace with his flurry of activities, extreme cuteness and BIG round brown eyes. SO many experiences, I thought I'll atleast one everyday like in the movie Marley and Me. In all these years, I wrote nothing until only one article - a few months back- which was mostly inspired from random places.
I would want to write about how he looks at me sometimes with the wisdom that will challenge my ancestors, sometimes with so much heartmelting trust that its impossible to do anything but cuddle, sometimes with mischief worthy of devilish kids.. And so my time and his time went hand in hand until now - when he's not around.

Now I have all the time...Time to write, to go to that dance class, to work in office forever, to watch late night movies, to roam around without thinking of home. Except that I dont want to do any of that any more. .. I just want to go home to my dog whom I gave up because I didnt think I was doing him justice of a good life. Because he'd stay alone at home for countless hours, no one to play with, and us being around only for the weekend and that too not full. Because I 'think' that we 'might' leave the country in near future and Pasha wouldnt have a good home 'then' because we'd have to keep him in hurry with my relatives or aquaintances who dont know much about dog care..

Here are the reasons why the new home is better than mine:
1. Franz is more obsessed by dogs and equally loving as I am. (which is almost impossible to find)
2. Pasha doesnt have to stay long hours alone like he did when we'd go out working. He loves company and hes getting loads there.
3. He gets company of other dogs there and also a wife :)
4. Hes really happy in the new home, as he eats well and plays too..

So when I think about him I know Ive done the right thing but for me it feels like Ive just lost MY baby and best friend bundled in one.. Or an emotion close to that.Does knowing that its for the better of loved ones make the hurt go away ? I hope so. Im trying.

The only thing is I dont regret anything about him..I dont regret because as long as he was with me, I gave him all the love, attention and care I could and more.  And even now, I know inspite of all the pain - that I did him good.

You're always going to outlive your pet, thats a decided fact. Trust me that this no-regrets feeling is the only saviour !! and this can come only from within.
Love your pet, take care of it and be with him/her as long as they are with you.. Because one day they wont be around and you might feel guilty along with being sad and alone thinking you didnt return enough of the undying unconditional love they showered you with. I can still go play with him.. Others might not be so lucky..
So please !! Act responsible and of course.. there's no ration on love !


P.s. Post your queries to me in case you have any concerns with your pets travelling/lodging and boarding/vets/training etc and Ill help you with the contacts I have.. If you feel you're not able to cope up with your pet, please contact me. I'll be happy to help!

Epilogue:

Pasha's new home :) .. (the black and white, shamelessly happy dog is Pasha :p )