set⋅tle
1 /ˈsɛtl/ Spelled Pronunciation [set-l] IPA verb : settle down,
a. to become established in some routine, esp. upon marrying, after a period of independence or indecision.
Wow ! Congratulations!!!These words ring out of my mouth quite not seldom these days as 3 out of every 5 phone calls I get in a day or similar random figure about emails, is to inform me/invite me to a wedding. I extend my best wishes with my cheery most voice, and why not! I'm happy for them. But every time the phone rings.. I'm like- Oh No! Not another wedding invitation!.. Not because that is some obligatory burden on me, per se.. but because, its almost always followed by an inevitable question- 'So, when are you getting settled?' Okay - pause - breathe in - breathe out- basically to prevent myself from retorting... Hey! I will when I will! How do I know! ... I always have to explain myself.
I went on to discuss this with my mother, and she too, world wise, tried to explain, 'Beta, this is the time to settle, proper age'. Maybe ... Maybe not..
Maybe because yea yeah... I know.. the reasons.. the biological clock .. because in India, an unmarried girl above 28 is stale goods..because it goes in synch with the plans your family has made etc etc..
Maybe not because... okay.. here, what I'm saying is my own opinon or maybe words really get to me. I hate the word 'settle' in this setting. I know it is meant in the other good way like house and family, but to me it sounds like - to settle.. same as to settle for something.. less.
Why should I 'settle' with someone I hardly know when I can gloriously fall in love with someone with whom I feel above and beyond petty worldy pleasure? Why cant I want to spent my entire concious and subconcious moment with the person, rather than have to 'settle' because I have to.
The catch is that I dont know if something like that really exists.. or is it the biggest scam thoroughly hyped by movies and songs and books duly taking advantage of our gullible souls.
What needs to be done to achieve that kind of higher being or is it all in our minds?
We all are hard wired and programmed to perfection that we believe that this is the right age to fall in love, so we do... this is the right age to marry... so we do. Those who dont have even that are incessantly complaining about the lack of a girlfriend/boyfriend in their life. But do we do all that out of an insane urge to be together with that person, or because we know that this is what they talk about, so this is what it must be?
Maybe all of them have got, what I have not.. maybe they were never searching for what I'm looking for.. or maybe they have convinced themselves that this is what and when they should settle with and for. I dont know.. It may also be that they all share a story too special to be told, although the cynical side of me barfs at the last one :)
Or maybe, it is expected out of you, as a result of your education and upbringing, that by this age you be wise enough to have found all the answers to your questions by now, hence forming your own philosophy and be ready to start another world of your own.
I don't know precisely at what point of time things changed, and instead of path makers we just became the path followers. I don't even know if I'm correct in contemplating all this.
I just know.. that I'm too unsettled to settle now.. or maybe.. I wouldn't settle for anything ..less.
A time for us..
