Que Sera Sera

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could get a peek at our lives in future? I think it would give my fickle heart a few more beats to know that I made it.
Thats what I want to do. I want to make a mark - in the world. But what if I don't? What if I die in oblivion just as I've lived in oblivion without making any real difference in the world or even in my own world?
Then what?
Would it really help to know that I don't get around to doing it even in the future? Would I persevere and try to change my present to challenge my future or would I simply give up? I guess the path I go down will actually define the kind of person I am. So many great men like Peter Parker aka Spiderman, Po the Panda have strived to show us - we are what we choose to be.
What would you choose to be?

If I were asked - I would choose to not to be afraid of the future. I would choose to have a heart as big as the ocean... taking in the streams, rivers and seas and still be capable of acceptance and calm. I would choose to work hard and harder, and to overcome hurdles and obstacles with single minded focus. I would choose to be kind and brave. I would choose to be aware and acute.

If I am all of that today, I don't have to worry about tomorrow !

What's in a name?

“What's in a name? that which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet.” - Shakespere.

My thought - Apparently that rose is not of an 'Indian' variety. If it were, there would be a LOT in the name !

It has been common in traditional indian families to adopt a name which in itself would tell you the primary name, head of the household's name, family name, caste, and village. With so much information packed in just a name, one can easily say that 'simply a name' is a BIG DEAL in India.

Its like you can't ever get lost in the famed Kumbh mela or anywhere else. Someone- just by hearing your name can deposit you to your exact address. It's very logical and I appreciate our elders and ancestors for coming up with the system.

If you are a woman, the lifecycle of your name is even more complicated. You have one long name in your childhood and early youth, and then when you've started to get the hang of it, you have to swap it with the new name that your husband gives you along with his name, his family name, his village and caste name.

But with changing times, the requirements of this information packed in the name is diminishing. We have other information systems available. On hearing a name, and if I am really interested in a person, I would rather google him or check him up on facebook judging on the quality of common friends we both have. If I have professional interests in the person we always have LinkedIn. I don't honestly care what his name is and what all his middle names are. 

In the fickle lives that we lead where neighbours are strangers and yet we seek to make a name and get a reputation and touch lives with our good deeds, how does it feel to give up the name itself? When the name has lost all meaning except who we really are. How does it feel to adopt a new one suddenly?

Yet in India, there is a larger population that believes that a woman should change her name on paper once married. I was surprised to hear that women's right to keep her maiden name while filing for petitions as a couple has been made legal in the State of Maharashtra by the Bombay High Court only in September 2011.

Why would I want to change my name when I already have a perfectly good name I'm completely happy with? Thats a big part of who I am and I don't want to change that. This is a simple statement. 

Yet, if said out loud, some nincompoops go ahead and say stuff like "Then, why did you get married". It is as if that is the singular purpose of this amazing bond two people share. And don't get me wrong. I've heard very well educated, well-mannered men saying that to me when I put my point forth.

These days I'm seeing more and more contemporaries of mine (modern day married Indian working women) having reservations about changing names on paper. I can understand why. When pressed by families, they don't have anything better than the passive aggressive approach, combined with the factor that they are already too crazy busy with the harrowing routine that families living in metros have these days. Who needs the extra paperwork! But it goes deeper than that. No One who loves themselves would want to give up such a big part of their identity.

I have to say that I disagree with Shakespere's Juliet-  From what I have discovered, a name is never just a name. 

In this age and time, there can be only one reason to do such a thing as changing one's name, which otherwise seems so illogical now. The reason is the same as the reason we give for doing hundreds of other illogical things -Love!

Its a wonderful thing to do, as an expression of love and trust and respect. And sitting behind the rose-colored glasses, even the paperwork doesn't seem all that dull.

I recently, changed my name on the passport; hence the article. But even as I did that, it was as per my choice and because I'm totally head over heels in love; I feel pretty happy and content even as I say my own name :). If your own name brings you happiness, then why the hell not !

p.s.: Dear hubby- Happy Valentines day !! :*

Hi, I'm a parent.

BEING A PARENT is just like going ice swimming for the first time.
You've seen people do it. You know you want it. You're ready for this. You've seen many people survive it. And then you jump in the water. Shock response occurs causing an uncontrollable gasp for air. Followed by hyperventilation and more rapid breathing. This may lead to ingestion of water causing possible drowning. Yup. Then you have to re-incarnate and become someone else you don't even recognise - A better person. True Story.

From my experience such are the qualities that take you away from the person you were. Embracing them is the only path to salvation.

Dab a little HUMILITY - Parents are humble people. They cannot be snobs or afford to be haughty or judgemental. The little tyrants bring it right onto them. A major lesson on humility. It can happen any time :). Uncle Murphy loves that. Anyone who has had an episode of a crying opera in the train or in the shopping mall will back me up on this. We don't judge. We don't tell tall tales of how 'mine has never done that'. That's because we don't know when they will arrange a mutiny against us. Usually that's done in public place, specially where people prefer silence. Like an embassy or an airport or any other place where we will feel the red dots of a million laser stares all over us.

Key to PATIENCE - Parents are patient people. We hold our horses and listen up. We wait and we wait for nature to take its due course. How can we be rushing? We wait 40 weeks to see the tiny little angel that will be the centre of our universe forever. We wait and cross our fingers and pray for our baby to latch on. If it doesn't happen, we cannot do much except the same thing. wait and try and wait and try. We, then patiently introduce the bottle, which is more than often vehemently rejected. Then we wait and try and wait and try. Then we introduce solids. You know why bibs were made. By the time, the baby is a year old, patience is in our DNA. If our child wants to take a gazillion hours to know what is 2+2, we give a gazillion hours to let him wrap his head around the fact. That's who we are now.

UPPING The Sense of Humor - I wouldn't necessarily be a happy person if I had a poop smeared face. But sometimes, even that can be a funny, stress relieving moment in the lives of new parents. We cannot be sullen and dull with children. They may not know where their toes are, but they certainly know when we are sad and anxious. Which is why it is of utmost importance for a healthy mother-child relationship for the mother to be relaxed and happy. They even prescribe meds for that if everything gets too overwhelming! We realise in the course of being a parent, that whatever is happening, it could be a lot worse in a lot less time because they are so so tiny, helpless and totally dependent on us. That's why- we the parents live in the moment, enjoy what we can, and see cuteness where the untrained eye may not!

BUCKLE UP and smell the ROSES - Ha! We don't even think of it that way! You gotta do what you gotta do. We wake up a million times in the night. We feed in public (I NEVER thought I'll be able to pull this one off). We sing in a horrifically high voice. We look silly and do silly imitations. We get smeared in poop. We lose our jobs. We lose our friends. We lose our ability to get a joke. We lose all our priorities. We never even think of it that way. Life is fun. We start appreciating the small little things much more. It's like God gave us a magnifying glass in our mental eye. We get awfully excited at the prospect of stepping out for grocery shopping. We look shamelessly proud when our son/daughter speaks her first word - "da-da". We become a show-off. We become "one-of-those" who cant shut up about their baby. We feel incredibly beautiful just by dabbing some lip gloss. We feel like on top of the world after 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

The trick is acceptance. Once you accept that you've had a baby and your life is going to swish in the direction of the wind of your child's mood swings. Once you accept that , everything follows easy. The moment of acceptance - that's the moment of magic. Its like the final moment before the rabbit comes out of the hat. You accomplish that- You're out of the water. You survived, everyone claps. You see some poor newbies going for a swim in the ice, you paste a grin and give them a BIG Thumbs Up sign!

One... Two..... Q4.

2013 has been more than happening. So much that almost everyday Ive had more than what I can chew to go through.

But the Blog looks like it needs to be brought to speed.

Let me see if I can do justice to what has been a truly exciting year by writing down the most memorable of moments in these last few months that it still has in its pocket.

Google it !!

If only there was a Google search for every question in my head.

Like- Who stole my phone and how can I kick his/her ass black n blue? Where did I keep my keys!.. or When will I become rich!? Which is the perfect car for me? How should I plan my savings? What is the perfect haircut for me that'll make me look like a movie star all the time ? :) .. and so on..Except that in the google of my imagination I'll always be lucky and will get only ONE extraordinarily precise and correct answer that will answer other most obvious branching quesitons too!

It feels so awesome to be answered, doesnt it?When we ask, we have a question, we are in need.. but when just the correct answer, correct justification comes, its such a satisfying feeling !

When our call is answered, our prayers are answered, and curiousity is quenched, it does indeed feel good - most of the time, anyway :)

Its an mmmm feeling... The way we go mmmmmmm... while savoring exactly what was needed.

I like that feeling ! :)

But since, I have sooooooo many questions at any moment of time in my head and the search engine of my wonderland is currently still in my imagination, doesnt it help to just concentrate on the important most pressing questions first?

I guess seeking the answer or deciding the shelf life of a question before it expires, is all the game we call 'life'. Without all this to think about and to work for, what will be the inspiration to make people get going?

Hmm. The brain bulb just went "ting !!" next to my head :)

Well, in the present, as I of now, I think its best to celebrate having all these uncertainities around, and the next day on - Lets get Cracking !!

Thats what the New Years are for !! :)